Change of pace

I refound my lost blog and now want write about struggling with chronic depression. There is so little talk about mental illness I feel like discussing my day to day experiences might help others and maybe myself. Currently I have an M.F.A in painting and am about to be homeless. I'm waiting to hear from my local housing commission if I am able to move into disability housing. If you asked me 20 years ago what I thought I'd be doing it would of been teaching, having a family and traveling. I am doing none of this and the story is complicated, just like most people with a mental illness. I hope my story will be helpful for others. I will be writing about my therapy, psychiatrists and medications as well as natural things that could relieve some of that deep dark cloud inside.

The Fall

Life is taking shape again after tragedy. I am working on a lot of art...abstract even. Preparing for a show in January. I think I would post more if I wasn't just blogging to myself.

A year

It has been a year since I posted. What can I say. Life kept me busy. Still working on art but not as much as I would like. My passion is very low. I feel no inspiration. It has a lot to do with reaching a plateau. Maybe I need to jump off the cliff.
My boyfriend passed away suddenly 2 weeks ago. It has left me in a state of constant raw emotions mixed with barren numbness. Friends say I should paint but I think the spark of life is hiding from me. Why paint? Why breath? In the end what is it all for? Why are we here? Where do we go? I don't care what anyone says I just want him back and that cannot happen. I wish science had advanced to the point to resurrect the dead or it will someday. Then I can have my life back, half of my heart back and Kent can be living life to the fullest.
How can I make art with this weight upon me?

Whoa...6 months.

Just realized it's been 6 months since I last wrote something on here. A lot has transpired since the winter including; the end of an engagement (whew), moving out of Detroit (double whew), and painting a bit. It's been of time of recovery and reflection for me. It's been quite exhausting in someways. It's funny how you believe you have changed so much in your life and then one day wake up back in the same place you began to run from. You can only hope that this time it won't happen again...that you will make damn well sure it doesn't happen again. There is solace in that.
I am building up creative energy by observing more than anything else. I'm seeing deeper than I was 6 months ago. I am collecting inspirations. I'm almost done with a new portrait and now that I want to be invested in myself again, will post it as soon as I am done.

New Painting

Life has been busy. Moving, wedding planning, lots of events and still finding time to work on art. Starting some new work in the Steampunk vein. Utilizing old frames when I can. Here is my first piece.

hand painted bags

So I'm taking an academic painting break for a consumerist painting project. Due to the fact that I'm unemployed and haven't found a teaching job since I graduated in 04, or sold a painting since then I'm now onto painting handbags. I'll be selling them on my etsy shop. I've been using bags I find at the thrift store so it's a re-purpose project too. I'll post examples up when I get a few done.

New Year, New Day

Well 2009 has passed and I say good riddance. It had it's moments but I like to move forward more than stagnate. I'm entering one of those deep reflective periods which means I'll be moving to pencil for awhile. Painting is so action oriented. I'm not in that frame of mind right now. Maybe it's a phase to work on ideas. All I know is that drawing seems very appealing to me right now. I took several landscape photos while in Kansas which may become fodder for future work. I'd like to brush up on my landscapes because basically I'm tired of people. There is something more for me to discover, I can sense it. I hope I find it soon.